Why Knowing Yourself Is Critical in Leading Yourself

Are you aware of your own tendencies as a leader?


Dan Frey, partner and founding member of GiANT Worldwide, discusses how important it is for leaders to know themselves to be able to lead themselves.

“Knowing yourself to lead yourself is actually knowing where you need to be to be completely healthy, completely fulfilled, but also how you need to be to connect with those you lead,” says Dan.

Watch the video to learn how being aware of your own tendencies and realizing your true wants is essential to leading yourself and others.

At GiANT Worldwide we're talking about the PQ, in addition to the EQ. EQ is connecting with those that we encounter in our lives. PQ is knowing what we need to do about us to maximize that ability to actually connect with somebody on the other side of us. What it means is, to do it, we have to be hyper-aware of our own tendencies. Most adults have no idea what their tendencies are. But if we're aware of our tendencies, we're aware of those patterns of behavior that are exhibited through our actions.

Someone on the other side of me is experiencing me. Am I even considering how I'm coming across? So if I'm never thinking about that, I'm doing nothing intentional to shape a better consequence with the person on the other side of me. And if that's consistent behavior, then overall the reality that I'm creating for myself is nonintentional, it's accidental, it is what it is, but if I can be aware of my tendency, and to the degree that I become very aware, I really have more ability to control a better reality for myself.

Now I saw a statistic claim, this about a year ago, that like 70 percent of people in our culture don't connect with what they do for a living. And I don't really know anybody now that's working less than 50-hour work weeks. So if you sleep eight hours a night, you work a 50-hour work week, roughly like 60 percent of your life you're either asleep or unhappy. So if your tendencies are getting you in the way of actually doing what you really, really, really, truly would find to be fulfilling, be it winning, or be it serving, then I can't live like that. I'm like, I feel like that's almost like a waste of life. So knowing yourself to lead yourself is actually knowing where you need to be to be completely healthy, completely fulfilled, but also how you need to be to connect with those you lead.

The consistent thing that I see is on a regular basis when people are actually trying to connect with somebody on the other side of them and they can't figure out the why, they can't figure out that tension, they just don't know what it is, but they have to work with them, or they have to lead them or they have to manage them, there is a tendency to kind of Heisman pose involvement with those individuals.

And usually what ends up happening is our discomfort with the person on the other side of us leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy. We literally lead them right out of the organization because of a disconnect between our leadership style and their preference. Now I've also worked with a lot of people that when they lean in and they start to become aware, they actually start to realize what they need to do to themself to connect with people on the other side of them, and then they try and they're not very good at it. And that's the other area where people try to then run back to my comfort zone.

The real opportunity is actually realizing what it takes to connect to people that are different from you and consistently making an effort to be better. Because when have you ever been great the first time you tried something? Rarely. But usually what people do when they fail is they run back to their comfort zone and in essence nothing ever changes.
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Dan Frey

Dan Frey is a Partner and one of the founding members of GiANT Worldwide, a company committed to developing leaders worth following. Twelve years of Dan’s 25-year career were between Product Specialist, Sales Management, and National ...

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